back together.

iloveyoubaby.  sleepyhead, always asleep when we are in the midst of a conversation. (: i’ve never been so happy to be back by your side. (: darling seeing you trying to look into my car and smiling at me is such a good start to my morning. everyday now, i look out for you. (:

all the best for Os which starts next week. I LOVE YOU.

ps. gosh, we look so young in this picture. lol. heehee. you look so much more handsome now. HEEHEE. bet you wont read this post. but anyway, i feel happy.

love lothie (:

life has been crap since you left.
i know you’re probably having the time of your life now…
i’m glad that you’re happy now, that’s all i wanted right?
for you to be happy?
thats what i ALWAYS wanted.
but why do i feel like that now?
i feel like crap, i havent spend a day without crying my eyes out.
i wake up every morning, first thing checking my phone to see if you’ve msged..
i know it’s absolutely stupid for me to keep thinking you’ll come back,
to say you love me again, and you want me back..
i know its so bloody stupid.
but i cant help but feel this way.
every moment that i spend alone, i start to miss you much..
i start to think about what you’re possibly doing now..
i cant help it..
i know you told me to move on..
but it’s not easy….
to all that said, its time to move on, i wish i could, but i cant..
i’m trying so hard, that im so frustrated with myself for feeling this way..
damnit. i’m annoyed by how naive i am.
even when it’s obvious, our relationship has ended.
i cant help be hopeful.
i know it’s stupid, but i cant help it..
i feel terrible.
i miss you so terribly.
i know someday i’ll have to let it go, but for now, i wish you knew how much pain i am in.
and how much trouble ive to put my friends thru, cause im like that all day..
i’m so moody and emotional.
i just feel like locking myself in the room and cry,
cry until the wounds are healed and that i can stop feeling remorseful.
i know you dont care..
you know me, i wont force you to care for me..
and at this point of time, i wont even bother you.
just simply reading one of your smses, just knowing that you sms can make me cry..
i dont wish to hear you say how we could still be friends and how you’ll still be there for me.
by leaving me, you have already left everything behind, our friendship. everything..

it’s gone.

i cant face you anymore, neither can i face any of my friends, c i feel so stupid.
they know how much i love you, i just wish you knew..
i want you back so badly.. i sound so fucking desperate.
but i cant help it.
this two years (or close to it) is not a game to me, to me, i spend everyday loving you..
wanting to always be by your side,
now the world that ive build has collapsed.
im just a lost kid with no where else to go.
forgotten and abandoned.
NOBODY CARES. c you dont..
it doesnt matter to me if anyone else does, cause you matter so much to me..
i feel so stupid, still loving you when you obviously dont
but i cant do anything..
i cant just decide to stop loving and forget everything..
im a sentimental person. i rmb stuff that makes me happy.
i dont simply forget.
i dont just chuck it to one side and said its all in the past now.

I just cant.

i wish i could be strong.
but its so hard..
no one will understand how it feels, except for me.
so of course i dont expect anyone to know how it feels..
but thanks to all those who cared and all those who still showed that even when he has decided to leave me, you guys still love me…

but i guess, this time, i’m just hurt a little too much, a little too deep.. that i cant forget…
this feel inside me cant go away.
i wish to push it all away, throw it away.
but all i want to do now is cry..
drown myself in tears.
for now, that’s all i can do.

i know you hated it when i cry, but i love you so much, i cry all the time when we were tgt, cause i was too afraid to lose you.
but now that it happen, i dont know why, but i cant stop crying..

i really want to stop.. but i cant..
i even dreamt of you..
but yeah.. its all my imagination..
there’s no you. there’s only me left here to suffer.
all the happy memories that gave me motivation has just turned its back on me…
now i feel so sad at everything that reminded me of you.
elmo, ovenbreak, taptap, laughter.. EVERYTHING.
i wish i can scream and let it all out, like what the lorraine inside is doing, but i cant..

i’m so scared now, to get hurt once again, to lose someone i love so dearly.. i’m so scared to trust anyone..
i dont want to burden anyone like how i burdened you.. i tied you down.
i deprived you off freedom. it was my fault.

but its too late right?

i know i should stop crying. i really wish i could but i simply cant..

i know ill probably nv see you again, but you know what, somehow youll always be on my mind..
i miss you so terribly..

i love you so much..

i know i’m stupid.. i know i shouldnt be feeling like that. i know i should think about the better things that might lie ahead of me.
but for now, im just stuck in NOW.  the fact that you’ve left me.

i know im stupid i know im naive.
its hard,

but i guess im the only one who is hurting..

c when a heart breaks, it dont breakeven.

im glad you’re happy now.

-abrupt ending, i dont feel like writing anymore..-

I know no one is gonna read this post.
But I guess maybe it’s time I stand up and be strong.
C if he is gonna leave me, I’ll have to be strong and learn how to survive alone.
Without you guiding me, loving me, giving me motivation to live. Yes. I’ll need to be strong… And stop being needy.
It’s time to stop crying,
my world has already crashed.
When u broke my heart.
It’s time I be strong. I love you.
It’s time to start rebuilding myself. I need you but it’d time I stop being afraid c I am.. Afraid like crazy. But you aren’t coming back, are you?

It’s time to start rebuilding my life. I think it’s time I resume to blogging. C it’s time I let it all out. Talking to other don’t work anymore. I’m stil sad..

And I guess it’s time I cont mugging for myes. You can do it.

To my love,
I love you. I always will.
Now I don’t seem to know how to love anymore.
I need you. But it’s time, I let you be happy,
you want freedom, i’ll give you freedom as long as you’re happy.
I guess someday I’ll be happy.
Maybe.
But loving someone is accepting th for who they are and let them be happy.

I love you dear. Be happy.
I love you Lionel.

padme, anakin, obiwan, yoda  and so on! OH GOSH, i love this saga!

the holidays have to been fun(?!). fast but uhhhh not really that fun since i was bored most of the time or else i’ll be working. well, i guess i am like a shock brigade, the initial enthusiasm just fades off in like lets say, uhh 3 days.  well, i guess i learn a lot during the entire course (which is yet to end on the 22nd this month) for example, i learn how to use ms words and excel more, operate a copier machine and most imptly, i’ve learnt how to answer the phone. (: it’s really fun but the downside is that the day seems so gruelling and long. i prefer studying so many times more than working. it’s fun but it can get really mundane after awhile. no kick, no excitement. hah, therefore, i’ve come to the conclusion that I CANT WAIT TO HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL.

well, i guess in time, i’ll have to take it back but HOHOHO,  oh well.

you know what, i really dislike sundays. it’s the most horrible day of the week actually. it’s always so hot and sunny. bwahhhh. i wish i had something interesting to do. :X

anyway, im gonna watch jump later with my family. apparently, it’s the chinese version of stepup. lol sounds cool. lol. but it’s mostly hiphop, something i dont really fancy much. haha, talking about that, dance has been great! i think i should be doing freemovement studies. lol! omg, we can go barefoot! WHOOOOOOOO! that means i can run faster and further, without fearing that i might just slip and fall flat on my face. haha, i love running during the dance, it’s like so lyrical and carefree. someday, someday, i should take vids of my group dancing to that. it’s really fun! hahaha it’s explode-shrink-jump-step then RUNNNNNN! but i needa polish it to make it super duper smooth. haha so exciting.

but haha my pirouette enchainement is like haha, lousy. my turns suck. but i will work on it. ohh my letjo needs to be worked on too. (:

okay gtg, im so bored and i’ve nothing more to say. goodbye. HAHAHAH!

it’s been awhile, i guess blogging is too tiring for a bum like me now. LOL!

my life has been pretty much really boring cause there’s really no exciting things happening.

so yeah. i have just been packing for my family vacation to KOREA (land of plastic surgery) LOL! okay, i wasnt suggesting anything okay! LOL! :X anyway, i’ll be leaving TONIGHT at about ten! and i’ll be back on the 16th if im not wrong. god bless all goes right yeah.

and hope it isnt too cold. :X lol. it’ll be snowing. HOHOHO! ((: darldarl, i will try to bring back snow for you okay! ((: love you! (:

anyway, just wanna tell my deardear I LOVE YOU! (: and take care! if i can get internet excess i’ll write you an email or sth! or blog! lol. depends on whether i can get it or not. so yeah. and rmb whatever it is, I LOVE YOU. dont you forget that and dont you let random thoughts get the better of you okay. i’ll come back to your side before you know i am gone okay. as you say, 1 week is really fast. LOL. i will miss you! thanks dear for always being so sweet to me. (: loveyou! and sms me okay i’ll reply all of them when im back home. (:

iloveyoulionel. (:

lovelothie. i promise i’ll be back well and in ONE PIECE (: loveyouhoney.

anyway, today has been a horrible day? well sort of. since i screwed ballet again. AHH! i think im the worst coordinated person. my legs and hands seems to have a life of their own so yeah, it’s difficult to control you know. LOL! but of course ill have to work on it. exams are in march.

make it work, darling.

after that it was manicure time with Liane and Yenpeng! gosh it was uber cheap. i did french manicure for 10 bucks only ((: hahahahah! then went out with liane to get my remaining stuff for the wedding. (though im not the one getting married, it is terribly impt that i get a nice dress to attend in lor!) LOL! big thank you to YENPENG who shopped with me for the dress and was soooooo patient! thank you! (:

lol! anyway, body worlds with Guifang and Yenpeng ytd was sooooo fun(: it was so intriguing! so people who are freaked out that the entire exhibits are plastics of real humans, pls attend it! it’s really educational. it is a lil freaky but really, it is educational! ohh parents who have lil kids, uhhh i dont think you should bring them tho, it can be a tad bit R-rated and uhhhh freaky in some ways. so yeah, look at the exhibits with an open mind okay ! (: it is nice, no doubt, super controversial (:

bought my iphone cover as a souvenir! I (HEART) my phone. LOL! the heart is really the sketch of how the real human heart looks like. damnnnn! i love biology (:

okay better sleep sooooon since tmr is gonna be a long day. i seriously hope there is good food, or else, im gonna throw a fit. im serious. LOL.

okay gtg.

love lothie who loves rawrroar! (:

facebook is so screwed up, i tell you. IT’s DRIVING ME NUTS. it’s so slow, goodness save me.

anyway, ytd was wonderful day. had two hours of AMATH which was surprisingly really easy. (: finished the paper in less than an hour. (:  fell asleep for awhile and chat with yen peng who was also damn sleepy! she gave up half way. LOL!

after that thought guifang would be coming for the 2nd tuition but guess what that naughty was still at her friend’s house! lollll, she was an HOUR PLUS LATE. yen peng and i were just about to go all conky. LOL! but ohh well, it was alright. we went to lido to catch GI JOE! totally hate the needles/horrible plastic surgery part but besides that i think it’s damn coollll (: i like the plot, full of twist and turns. damn SIENNA MILLER IS HOT (: can’t wait for the next one. anyway, big thanks to guifang and yenpeng for not scolding me whenever i freaked out and all. HEE HEE (: i’m really jumpy. :X

after that we headed down to wisma! FOREVER 21! COTTON ON! ((((((((: but most of the time, we were walking along orchard road ((: took pictures for gap and watsons. HEEEEE! niceeee! (: camwhoring on orchard road is absolutely fun! who cares about those people staring at us! heeeeee. the photos would be on facebook soon i hope. LOL!

after that we went down to the esplanade to camwhore somemore, but we didnt cause we were so tiredddddd! our legs were killing us and guess what we did? we sat along the waters reading newspaper. LOL! (((: it was the life! the wind is blowing and it was quiet. lolllll!

after our break we went down to HOTPOT culture for dinner! SORRY YENPENG! i know you were really hungry! LOLLLL! yupp, had chicken hotpot set, while guifang had beef and yenpeng getting combo! (: yummmmmmy! (((((((: after that took the mrt home while guifang head down to hougang. LOL! we were so tiredddddd, thank goodness the mrt was surprisingly empty. LOL! took bus 14 home and watched the remaining of the F4 craze. HEEE!

it’s been awhile since i blogged about my day. LOL! it feels so weird, with a tinge of nostalgia. LOL! :X

okay gtg now, bio later with nat j, wern ching, wei min and princess. lol.

gonna change now! BYEEEE aliens!

and oh! i love my dear! A LOT! thanks for always making me feel so happy (:

Gosh, that song is like a lullaby. it feels so dreamy. ANYWAY, HELLO WORLD.
it’s been awhile. my life has been hectic but of course, i’m not gonna rant about it. i’m actually quite happy that i’ve things to do. (: well, it’s better than nothing.

having my PRELIMS now. (: no doubt, i’m really stressed out cause i lack revision and also my oncoming lackadaisical attitude. HMM. :X but well, i’ll study hard, i’ll do the best of my ABILITY! (:  anyway, it’s a four day break starting from 930 today. so yeah 7 more papers. SOUNDS HORRIBLE eh but as i said, it’s better than nothing! WHOOOOZXZ!

i just realised how outdated i am now, i just watched the show PARIS and MILAN on tv. heard people talking about it, IT’s DAMN FUNNY! i know it showed how typical singaporeans are but you know what, that’s what makes us UNIQUE!

woah! seems like most of my good girlfriends are damn psyched for tmr’s celebration. hopefully, there’s lots of singing. i need to release all these anxiety! ((: okay but bear with us, if you hear awful singing, that’s definitely from US. lol.  the songs are ringing in my head like, we have a vision for tomorrow, we can achieve, we can achieve. you and me will do our part, stand together HEART to HEART…

yes, i guess you can see how excited i am already eh! (:

okay, i’m going to watch TONG SUM FONG BOU (:

brb  and back to studying. hopefully, we’ll take some pictures (:

okay gtg world, back to my “bedok view cave” and lovin’ it.

HOHOHO. await my return! (:

withlove, lothie.

the lyrics are from David Cook’s song Permanent. it’s really touching, dedicated to his late brother who passed on due to brain cancer. well, this just reminds me of all those relatives who had to go thru a painful period of life, whether it was emotional, physical or whatsoever. god bless them.

anyway, it has been awhile since i last blog. it will not be very often actually since im terribly busy with i-have-no-idea what. LOL!

but still….

anyway, happy birthday paternal grandmummy. the birthday party was sorta homey since granddad left a few years back so yeah. it was kinda uhhh simple. with the maid cooking mee goreng with PRAWNS for dinner and otah and what not. LOL. it was simple yet nice, i guess. lol. only two cousins came. LOL! both of which are getting married by this year. WHOOO! that means shopping baby! and also a big hole in my daddy’s pocket. LOL!

okay, i guess i’ll be off now. blogging’s not really my thing now. LOL!

i prefer facebook.

DAMN, i never thought i would actually say that in my life. LOL

anyway, life is unpredictable eh?

people live, and will die someday. it’s just how it goes right?

LOL. aiyo, i sound so sadistic. HEEE. it’s just a matter of fact. LOL.

okay gtg! LIBRARY tmr!*yes, my dears! i’m coming!*

withlove,

LOTHIE(:

tuition totally rocked ytd! only 6 of us – Yenpeng, Liane, Guifang, Abner, Timmy and me. LOL! everyone were so quiet at the beginning then we started laughing about our SOURCE OF JOY – MR THONG’s NEW HAIR CUT. it’s damn funnnnnnny! and of course cute to a certain extent. LOL!

anyway, we were all listening to our mp3s while mr thong was walking in and out of the room, shared guifang’s ipod. OMG. then we heard that fabulous song that totally rocked my world. LOL hahaha, it’s damn addictive despite it being so crude, i didnt realise lily allen has been singing that two words every chorus and during the ending part. it’s so nice that we started to go a lil nuts i think! LOL! we’re mouthing the words to yen peng and liane. then after that we passed the ipod over and they started to sing the chorus too. LOL!

omg ADDICTIVE! it’s such an addictive song!(:

hahah, her lyrics are so cute, and so is the melody that initially, i didnt realise she was singing vulgarities. LOL.

anyway, loaded a lot of pictures on FACEBOOK. omg, marcus’s italian cap thingy! LOL! feel so artsy fartsy. LOL.

i think the song is really making me happy.

anyway got back my MYE results, i guess i did okay, i maintained my oral marks tho. LOL, had to share my secret with the class. LOL. wth? i just said what was in my mind.

spoke to Zhang Lao Shi about my chinese results, LI MIN XUAN must STRIVE FOR AN A for CHINESE! cause I LOVE CHINESE! (: i feel so motivated and utterly scared. LOL.

oh well, i must not let fear get the better of me! (:

hee, i m so random today :X

OH CLASS HOODIE! OMG! SEXY! (: yes, we can use it for O lvls! whooots 4E1

and lastly ohh. THANKS CHRISS FOR lending me your ITOUCH! omgomgomg! iloveDONTTRUSTME on taptaprevenge2! it’s so so so fun! now marc knows that I’VE GOT TALENT LA! with the fact that i got 90% everytime! lol in your face, i’ve got talent! (:

okayokay, this has been really random post. i’ll go back to mugging.

GO LOTHIE! 6 POINTS! VJ/TJ! CHIONG AR!

A SLICE OF KNOWLEDGE!

chemistry (AIR)

3 ways to reduce air pollution

1. fitting catalytic converters that uses PLATINUM to convert NO and CO to CO2 and N2.
2. using cleaner fuel (CNG and 0.05% sulphur content fuel)
3. reducing sulphur dioxide emission in power plants (by adding powdered limestone into the powerplant. the heat will cause the limestone to become calcium oxide, it will then react with sulphur dioxide to give CaSO3 (sulphite), then reacted with air to become unreactive CaSO4 and dumped!

Air pollution – presence of substances in the air that is harmful to the environment and living things.

Cause and effect of pollutants

• Sulphur Dioxide
  Cause -> burning of fuel that contains sulphur
  Effect -> affect the eyes, contribute to acid rain
• Nitrogen oxides
  Cause -> Lightning and forest fires (natural), motor vehicles and industries
  Effect -> affect the lungs and contributes to acid rain
• Carbon monoxide
  Cause -> incomplete combustion of hydrocarbons/fuels, fire burning with poor ventilation
  Effect -> reduce the capacity of RBC’s ability to carry oxygen
• Methane
  Cause -> decaying matter, agriculture (rice fields/cows)
  Effect -> contributes to greenhouse effect
• Unburnt hydrocarbons
  Cause -> incomplete combustion of fuel
  Effect -> reaction with sunlight -> lead to photochemical smog
• Ozone
  Cause -> sunlight reaction with hydrocarbons (unburnt)
  Effect -> crops and nose/eyes/throat
• Photochemical smog
  Cause -> mixture of substances due to sunlight with hydrocarbons (brown haze)
  Effect -> burn eyes/breathing problems/affect materials such as plastic and rubber

okay the other parts are simple enough so yeah TAKE CARE (:

withlove!